I feel like this should start with …
“Hi, I’m Heather and I’m a recovering perfectionist”.
I have ALWAYS struggled with perfectionism. Sometimes it is a blessing and sometimes a curse but mostly just a curse because of always chasing the unattainable. I am also I very detailed person so yea, that is fun, said no one ever!
So how did I start recovery?
Simple.
With one book.
A bullet journal. Sort of.
My family and I had gone through a really rough time and I started a gratitude journal that turned into so much more. Read about that story here.
At the time I didn’t really need a bullet journal or a planner or anything like that but I have ALWAYS had a planner (since high school, yea I like to plan) and so not having one was something very new to me.
I bought a notebook and the rest is history. I had attempted to have a journal several time in my life and it was always the same story.
1. I buy a book to write in
2. I’m all excited to start writing
3. I write in my journal on day 1
4. I am committed to writing a little bit everyday
5. I find that same journal 2 years later with all of 3 pages written in it.
Can anyone relate?
So what changed?
Well, my attitude needed to change and my focus. When I started this with a gratitude journal I had quickly realized that this was our story of recovery that needed to be documented. Even my husband said to me at one point, “We really need to record this journey that we are on somehow.” I got you babe!
At the time, we were living in our camper traveling around like nomads. If you ever get the opportunity to do this TAKE IT! It was the second time we had done this and both times were amazing!
As I started writing in my new book I had freedom that I hadn’t had before with regular notebooks. There is something about a dotted journal that has so many more possibilities. (No, this isn’t an add for notebooks, I am just a paper nerd.).
As I wrote in the journal I listed 3 things that I was thankful for everyday. I also started noting where we were and what was happening. There were many interesting things that happened durning that time and now I can go back and read about it. My daily journaling was usually very brief but it accomplished the goal. Read about that process here. I would pull at my colored pens and a few rolls of washi tape and spend just a few minutes everyday really enjoying the moment.
I made mistakes in the book. Now normally this would drive me CRAZY. My focus would be those spelling error I made, or not so perfect handwriting, or well, you get the picture.
However before I started this book I decided to give myself permission to not make it perfect. Maybe that sounds stupid but it was kind of a big deal to me. It allowed me to know from the beginning that I was going to make mistakes and that I didn’t care. Ok, maybe that is a slight over exaggeration, but it truly didn’t matter. I decided that those mistakes were actually part of the beauty of the pages. Kinda like me!
Are you struggling with perfectionism? Is it because you don’t feel heard or seen? Or maybe if what you are working on is perfect you will have someones approval? Love?
STOP BELIEVING THOSE LIES! Through the grace of God you are already enough! Perfectionism ISN’T YOUR JOB! It never was! Leave that to God.
You are going to make mistakes. Guess what? You’re human! Let it go! Forgive yourself if you need to and move on to a better day.
Use your beautiful voice to tell your story. Get a book of your choice and just start with gratitude. Someday you will look back on it and be amazed at where you were and how far you have come. You will have a record of your story for your kids to see or even your grandkids.
Or maybe writing just isn’t your cup of tea. Do something that brings you joy and give yourself permission for it not to be perfect! I know that can be scary, but there will be beauty in the flaws.
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